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nonespark:

stoneandbloodandwater:

how to walk like a queen [x]

Okay so this shit is in my likes and it’s come across my dash a few times since but this is the first time I’ve seen it since the following happened to me:

One time I was in Manhattan and I had a lot of walking to do and I was bored and was thinking about this gifset and I thought, huh, lets try it. So I did and I was thinking queenly, murderous thoughts and trying to see if people were more willing to get out of my way when I walked like this and then, I watch a guy pass me, do a double take, then a triple take.

Then he engages me in polite conversation for a block or two, tells me I have beautiful hair, then asks me out of drinks. 

CHARLIZE THERON IS A SMART LADY BUT HER ADVICE IS POWERFUL. USE IT WISELY AND WITH CAUTION, MEN MIGHT START THROWING THEMSELVES AT YOU.

thIS IS LITERALLY HOW I GO ABOUT MY DAY MOST OF THE TIME.

if you act like you’re badass, you will look badass, and everyone will think you’re badass.

maybe that’s why everyone’s intimidated to talk to me until they actually do.

(Source: graybles)

nobodyontheice:

peach94:

COOL DATE IDEA: take a really long nap with me

Scientifically and psychologically speaking, long periods of physical contact or just closeness stimulate chemicals in the brain that promote trust. If you’ve ever slept while cuddling somebody you just met, you know how incredibly comfortable you feel with them after you wake up, as if you’ve known each other for years. So yes, a long nap together is actually the ideal date if your goal is a relationship based on trust.

everythingsbetterwithbisexuals:

escapedosmil:

noelledino:

deductionhunters:

chocolateist:

i-want-cheese:

bakaandty:

i-want-cheese:

blogorgtfo:

assbutt-in-the-garrison:

Back when I was younger and more ignorant and misinformed than I am now, one of my exes literally made me feel guilty sometimes when he got a boner and I didn’t want to “take care of him”. He claimed that it caused him a lot of pain and he said that his doctor had actually said he couldn’t leave himself in that state or else he could damage himself…. So made me feel like I HAD to give him relief even when I really did not desire to. And that sucked.

Wait… it DOESN’T hurt them?

Boys get boners all the time for no reason. No, it doesn’t hurt them. If any boy tries to tell you otherwise, run away as fast as you can because he’s lying to you for the sake of his penis.

No penis is more important than you because you are a whole person and a penis is just a spongy flab o’ flesh. 

Hahaha deff not I get boners constantly.
Math
Driving
Light
Anything causes them

Favorite answer so far.

Math.

Dicks can seriously be ridiculous at times

Hell sometimes a brisk breeze can set them off

Reblogging this for all of the girls and guys that DO NOT KNOW THIS INFORMATION.  Because this is extremely important.

HEY!!! 

HEYYYYYY!!!!

The term ‘blue balls’ isn’t actually a fucking thing. 

It was created by giant flopping douche canoes to con girls into rubbing their little dingadongs. 

I literally get 10 boners a day and never get blue balls. 

Next time someone tries to shame you into a handy, kick them in the balls and tell them “NOW YOU HAVE BLUE BALLS”

If any guy tries this with me, I’d demand a doctor’s note and FMLA paperwork.

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